The Judge and his black book

Long time ago one day, a judge was passing through a bakery and gets a delicious smell and sees a tasty duck is being grilled, stops by the bakery and says to the baker "I take the duck." Can you object to the judge? Of course not, so the baker packs the ducks and gives it to the judge.

Some time later, the owner of ducks comes to the bakery and asks about the duck supposed to be grilled, so the baker says that the duck flew away, so a fight starts. While people trying to intervene the fight, the baker  removes the eye of a non-Muslim by mistake. After that, the baker starts to run away and the non-Muslim starts to chase him. During the chase, when the baker jumping over a wall, lands on a pregnant lady and causes a miscarriage, than the furious husband starts to chase the baker, and the baker collapses a Jew while running away and Jew also starts to chase him.

The policemen encounter the chase and arrest everybody and take them to the court, to the judge.

Judge starts to interrogate one by one:

The owner of the duck states that the baker took his duck, the judge asks to the baker what happened to duck, the baker says that it flew away. The Judge opens up his black book, sees that the synonym of the duck is tayyar*. So he says that there is no crime in a duck flying, the baker is free of charge.

After listening the complaint of the non-Muslim with the missing eye, the judge opens his black book again and sees that if a Muslim removes two eyes of a non-Muslim, one eye of the convict to be removed. So, the judge says that the baker shall remove the second eye of the non-Muslim, then the court is going to remove one eye of the baker. After hearing this, the non-Muslim puts of the charges when his second eye is at stake.

When it comes to the husband of the lady with the miscarriage, the judge decides that the baker shall replace the baby by sleeping the with the wife, then immediately the husband puts of the charges against baker.

Then the judge asks to the Jew about complaints, the Jew says "No complaints, blessings for such a judge and his black book!"


*flyer

If it is the judge who takes our duck, removes our eye, causes a miscarriage, who to complain? Ain't the judge the government nowadays?

Back in action

Even though that my pen is rusted, my hands are tired, my mind is exhausted, I'll be back here soon.

Memleketimden Insan Manzaralari

I really have to tell you about this.

When I was on holiday in my hometown last week, I've encountered a scene which is quite impossible to see in 99 percent of the whole world.

Now imagine two guys trying to push a motorcycle with broken engine up to the hill. And now imagine that these two guys are doing this with a rope which is tied to a moving car. These two guys were seated on the motorcycle; the guy in the front was keeping the rope and the one behind was directing the wheel with the arms around the guy in front. I missed the funniest picture of my life with the gritting guy in front, because I was driving...

Now guess which country this was. :))

Warsaw Nights

Last weekend I decided to get my ass off from my good old couch and go somewhere to socialize. I made a small search over internet and found something interesting, at least a meeting which newcomers are welcomed. So, I sent an e-mail to the organizer that I want to attend the meeting so called "Tandem Evening". He filled me about the details of the meeting place and invited me to the Board Games Night also. Considering that I spent my entire youthhood, with card games I jumped off to the event. It was at 7 p.m. so I decided to go there right after work. I was really optimistic that I would get the chance to play Batak or King but they didn't have any idea about them. Anyway, the place was much further than I thought, after a small walk I decided to use the Tram. Herba Thea was somehow grotesk but lovely and intimate place. With a couple of strangers we played some strange card games and a game called Collesioum. There was an interesting French guy, moved in to Warsaw, doing some muppet shows and I'm not sure but selling some children board games. With his overalls and insanely enthusiasm you could also say easily that he is French. There were some other interesting people though. A guy with big headphones (he is definetly into music) asked me about Babazula. Even I only heart about them and never listened, the guy was a fan of them.

The next day, at the Tandem evening (I took the tram directly by the way) there were more people and people kept talking about couchsurfing as yesterday. There was one guy, who went to till Georgia via crashing on people's couches and hitchhiking. He was flattered about Turkey, he spent two months in there, he wants to go again and collecting money to couchsurf again. There was a girl, who is exactly the same of my friend Hilal except being polish, she has the same look, same attitudes and same way of talking, it was quite interesting. And then the Indian-American guy shows up. Comes in and sits on the couch after removing his shoes. He came from America and hanging around, unoccupied, doesn't know where to go next but pretty sure that he will go till far east. When the night is over, without being able to help polish Hilal about the broken ticket machines of metro, I returned to home.

The next day was my colleague's birthday party, but I don't even want to remember that night. Boozed up. :P

By the way, I decided to check that couchsurfing thing. It was amazing, I'm not open minded enough to fully participate but I can attend some meetings, so did I. As you can imagine, the next day, I and Burak went to CS language exchange meeting. Full of people all around the world, and each one of them were funny so you would like to talk with them for hours. There was a girl who studied one year in Turkey, I tried to make her talk turkish, couldn't succeed enough though. And there was this Australian girl, she was one of the most hilarious people I've ever meet, incredibly funny. I still can't stop thinking about cannibalism because of her jokes. There was a guy from Peru with his Polish girlfriend , interestingly they knew about maras dondurmasi.

They were all amusing nights. I hope it will go on like this. ;)

PS: This was my first try to blog in english, after a while I beleive that I will get better. So, go easy on me. :))

Thanks to googlebot

Ah ah googlebot da olmasa bloguma giren cikan yok. Tamam ben yazmiyorum ama niye kimse yorum yazmiyor? Oldu olacak googlebot'a yorum yapmayi da ogretsinler. :P

Ridiculous

Ben mi çok malım, yoksa hayat mı çok saçma, sosyal kodlamalarla doluyoruz yıllar yılı, iyi güzel de tutarlı bir insan evladı yok mu şu dünyada? Tamam, ben de dengesiz (unstable) olduğumu kabul ediyorum çoğu zaman ama benim dengesizliklerimin kendince bir nedeni vardir her zaman, ama başkalarının dengesizliklerini anlamayi beceremiyorum bir türlü. "... rahvan çıksın"cı olmak lazım belki de biraz...

Eskiden böyle değildim ben ya, etliye sütlüye karışmazdım ki, kimse de umrumda değildi hani. İnsan ilişkileri ayrı bir alem, satranç gibi değil; oynadığın kozlar, yaptığın hamleler elinde patlıyor çoğu zaman. Kaç sefer feda ettim vezirimi de, mat diyemedim çoğu zaman.

İnsan dediğin mahluğa kıymet vermemek lazım. Değer verdiğini iddia edene de aldanmamak lazım. Hep birilerinden bir şeyler bekliyoruz da, istediğimiz olmayınca dövünüyoruz, ne perhiz kaldı ne lahana turşusu.

Hava bozdu, yağmur var, ondan böyleyim belki de. Alıp gideyim ben kendimi fazla dırdır etmeden.

Geldim, Gordum, Dondum

Sezar o lafı, böyle söylemiş olsaydı Sezar olabilir miydi acaba? O yüzden ben de Sezar olamayacağım heralde. Aman, ne benim Sezar'lıkta gözüm var ne de Sezar'ın Onur olmakta gözü vardır kanımca. Mutlu mesut yaşayalım bırakın da bizi. Hayır, Sezar'ı anladım, Roma bile mantıklı bir yere kadar; fakat bu kadınları anlayamıyorum, hiç de anlayamayacağım heralde. Kadınları anlamak zaten ne haddime, lakin kendimi bir çözsem...

Almanya güzel yermiş, özellikle benim gittiğim yerler; evli ve çocuklu isen çok daha güzel gelir heralde. Troylebüsleri, kendine has mimarisi, bomboş sokakları, yemyeşilliğiyle Alamanya güzel yer de, kızları çok rükuş be... :P

Degirmen Tasi

Bir gun bir degirmen tasi tanidim, bu degirmen tasi ya aynaya bakmaya bilmediginden ya da elinde sadece bir funny mirror’i oldugundan mi bilemeyecegim kendini bulunmaz hint kumasi saniyordu. Isin asli hint kumasi muamelesi gordugu oluyordu. Neden mi? Bence herkesin elini uzatacagi yerde oldugundan, herkesin her daim denk geldigi, her an ulasabilecegini dusundugu bir degirmen tasi oldugundan. Degirmen tasi bu durumun farkinda mi; Yo yo! o bir hint kumasi, hem de en bulunmazindan. Bu sozde hint kumasina aslinda bir degirmen tasi oldugunu soylemek istedim mi? Tabi ki de, ama etkili bir soylem olmasi icin once halletmem gereken isler vardi.

Weirdo

İnsan ne garip mahluk, silmek istiyor silemiyor, istemeden siliyor, gidiyor, unutuyor, sonra birden, durduk yere aklına geliyor. Bu ne perhiz, bu ne lahana turşusu?

Yaşlandıkça yaralar biriktiriyorum içimde.

Frankfurt Seyahatnamesi

Başlığa aldanıp benden Ahmet Haşim gibi döktürmemi bekliyorsunuz aldanırsınız. 12.01.2010 tarihinde Frankfurt aktarmasıyla Varşova'ya gidecek uçağımız avrupada kopan fırtına kar kıyametten, meteorolojinin salı günü daha kötü olacağını söylemesinden dolayı pazartesi öğleden sonraya alındı. Tabi, bu durum uçağın rötar yapmasına engel oldu mu? Tabi ki hayır...


Check-in'den önceki X-Ray'den geçerken nasıl yaptımsa laptopumu sol el orta parmağımın üzerine düşürdüm, 5 gün geçti şişi hala geçmedi, dokununca ağrıyor, iyileşme var diye dert etmiyorum. 50 dakika rötarla İstanbul'dan bindik Lufthansa uçağına, kaptan şoförümüz(!) sarsıntısız bir yolculuk sonunda Frankfurt'a indirdi bizi. İnince farkettik ki Varşova'ya gidecek uçağımız rötar yapmamıştı ve biz uçaktan indiğimizde kalkmasına beş dakika vardı, kaçırmıştık yani. Tabelalarda uzun süre Warsaw yazısı aradıysak da bulamayınca Lufthansa görevlisi aramaya koyulduk. Görevliye durumu izah ettik, o da ilk uçağın ertesi sabah olduğunu söyleyip, otelde yer ayırtacağını söyledi. Steingenberger isimli otelde yerlerimiz ayırılmıştı. Havaalanında biraz oyalandıktan sonra otellere giden shuttle'ların orda beklemeye başladık. Steinberger yazan bir minibüs bulduk ama içi doluydu, kesin türk dediğimiz ama türk çıkmayan şoförüne sorduğumuzda bizi "Langen?" şeklinde yanıtladı, biz Langen'in ne demek olduğunu düşünedururken üzerinde kocaman Steingenberger yazan bir otobüs yanaşınca dayanamayıp atladık. Havaalanına yakın şık bir otele götürdü bizi. Resepsiyonist kıza rezervasyonlarımızı uzattık, hanım kızımız da biz economy class insanlarına durumu izah etti. Orası Steingenber Airport otelmiş meğer, bizim yerimizse Steingenberger Langen'de ayrılmışmış, tekrar shuttle'ı bekleyip havaalanına dönüp "Langen?" sorusuna "Ja!" diyerek atladık minibüse, ebesinin nikahında uçak-pilot maketleri resimleriyle bezeli bir otele gittik, otel iyi, menüler güzeldi ama soğuktu nedense. Sabahın köründe kalkarak ayrıldık Frankfurt'tan.


Yeşil bir memleketti heralde Frankfurt. Son olarak şunu söylemek istiyorum:
"Gündüz gözüyle bir göremedim seni Frakfurt!" :))